What are your coping skills?
It’s the million-dollar question. We live in difficult times. The strife is unprecedented–at least to me in my 43 years (and counting…)
Life is full of stress, whether it’s political, social (which is political), educational, or whether the kid left his lunch box on the counter again and I have a meeting in Singapore in 5 minutes… It’s just constant. And we have to protect ourselves against it in a proactive way.
Proactive–now there is a word. We, as Americans, are not taught to be proactive about our health. We are taught to go and go and go– produce more and more and more.
Exhibit 1 (courtesy of Out Of Office Replies)
American: I was T-boned by a Ford F-450 and am in an ambulance performing an emergency hand amputation on myself. I will reply to your email as soon as I learn to type with my bloody elbows.
European: I got a runny nose from biking to work through an exotic flower garden and will be on paid medical leave until the next World Cup.
The Lost Art of Chilling The F Out
I would love to live in a siesta culture. Spain, Latin America (such as the Philippines, Mexico, and Nicaragua), Greece, Italy, and parts of China observe a mid-day break that indicates they understand that life isn’t just about creating more widgets. Life is to be lived, loved, and enjoyed. Happiness is to be sought and fought for. Relationships are worth tending–it’s essential to work toward those happiness bubbles, even more so than tending your most recent attempt at sourdough. Check out more about siestas and how we are failing here.
Behold, the Parable of the Mexican Fisherman, pulled from here, but heard in a lot of places:
The Parable of the Mexican Fisherman
An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied, “only a little while.”
The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?
The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.
The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”
The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, and stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”
The American scoffed. “I have an MBA from Harvard, and can help you,” he said. “You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, and eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middle-man, you could sell directly to the processor, eventually opening up your own cannery. You could control the product, processing, and distribution,” he said. “Of course, you would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles, and eventually to New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”
To which the American replied, “Oh, 15 to 20 years or so.”
“But what then?” asked the Mexican.
The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time was right, you would announce an IPO, and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions!”
“Millions – then what?”
The American said, “Then you could retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play guitar with your amigos.”
The Point is the Fishing, Nu?
The point is the fishing. The relaxing. Enjoying the sun on your face and the breeze through your hair. And you can start doing that right now. No, right now.
But how?
Step one, obtain a set of stickies: like this set. It’s not an affiliate link because I have ADHD and didn’t feel like figuring that out right now.
Step two: consider your morning. What is your ideal morning? Write that on a big sticky note and put that in the middle.
Step three: keep your stickies out and add a coping mechanism as you think of it. Go crazy. Decorate that wall like it’s confetti on New Years.
Some Ideas from My Wall
- singing with friends (yeah, often this is over the FB messenger)
- solve a problem — squeaky hinge? Lightbulb out? Fix it!
- dance — I love Fitness Marshall on YouTube
- swing — I have more yoga swings than people in my house
- organize something
- do some creative writing
- art something
- work out
- go on a photo walk: want to see my photos?
- bake something
- play guitar
- send a gift to someone
- write a letter
- swim!
- take a bath
- karaoke — free on YouTube!
- go to the dog park
What’s on Your Wall?
It’s super difficult to think of the right coping mechanism when you’re in the thick of it. That’s why it’s essential to have a list of options.
Nu? What’s on your list?
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